Tracy’s Vanity Check list – what’s a gal to do in the wild?

As a Libra, vanity is one of my personality traits. I doubt my friends would describe me as a high maintenance, big product type of woman. But I confess to loving clean-shaven legs, my waterproof mascara, eye liner and expensive tweezers, quite a bit. Read along as I journal about my own vanity, writing a checklist as I paddle my way from Seattle to Alaska leaving mirrors, mascara, razors and bathrooms behind. Watch as my daily mug shot captures my decline to nature.

Vanity Checklist Week 2 Mile 160

Newcastle island a bathroom and a mirror!
My hair was quite the sight. – Ratting up into dread like mats in the back. – The wet look 24/7, only it’s not really wet, just salty & moist – It’s hard to describe. (Some serious natural product!)
I am still not used to seeing myself with blond lower eyelashes.
The wild blondish hair is Ok, I’m just not digging the invisible lower lashes…

Vanity Checklist Week 3 Miles 240

Eyelashes suck! – Invisible
Leg hair – Who cares anyway – It’s all stubble.
Body odor – Not bad, had a shower. (I love my Castile soap.)
Hair – Getting wilder (I kind of like it) except for the always wet feel and texture!!! (It always feels wet – really gross.)
Hands – No blisters, all good. Just darker and they look old all the time, anyway. They work still.
I don’t feel so plump anymore.

Vanity Checklist Week 3 Mile 250

Body Odor – Purchased deodorant at Refuge bay.
Paid $4.00 for a shower, it was glorious! Then ruined it the same day, diving for sea urchins for dinner. (worth it)
Leg hairs – Long enough to detect bugs – an excellent early warning system…. But Not attractive at all!
Eyelashes – I forgot what eyelashes look like by now.
Nose – Red from a sun burn.
Vanity checklist Mile _Vanity…. ( Hah!) I am a pirate of the sea.

Vanity check list Week 4 Mile 500

Once I clean up a bit….. – Warm shower in shearwater –
My hair is permanently tangled, but long and quite blond.
Despite a few scrapes and bruises, my body is tan and lean.
I actually look younger. Even with hairy legs and light eyelashes, I think I look pretty good. I don’t look 47 that’s for sure.
To sum up….
I have discovered the fountain of youth!– Just trash yourself with physical activity and living on the sea, for a few weeks and a few hundred miles, then add in an occasional shower and cleaning.

“I think soap is overrated, my skin in doing pretty good”
Here is my secret recipe for looking younger – It is guaranteed to remove superficial wrinkles, trim you down and make you look and feel 10 years younger!
step 1. One month salt treatment for hair and skin. (Rinse daily with occasional castile soap, cold salt water cleaning with chamois cloth dry off.)
step 2. Fresh air 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
step 3 Sleep outside on the ground, eat outside on the ground.
step 4 Paddle 500 miles in 4 weeks.

Vanity checklist 600 miles. Week 5

Tooth brushing – Not done every day. Depends upon where we camp, when we eat, where we land and how many predators.
Our Toiletries are not kept near the tent, making these things more difficult.
I have failed to plan ahead – Hike up on land, dig a hole to crap in on more than one occasion. It’s just a good fucus wipe on the beach where I live, eat & sleep. (When I’m not paddling).
(This is really bad for an ecology teacher, I know better, but nature calls and too many times there is no access to land.)
I really have hairy legs now!
I am almost out of contact solution, thanks to that Brown Bear episode. I hope I can make it to Ketchikan with what I have. My glasses suck, especially in the fog and rain.(the weather here).
My hands are so reddish-brown.
My fingernails are either broken off or have sand and dirt far underneath them.
Each finger has bug bites and swollen red spots.
However, my hands work just fine and my skin has performed very well over the past 5 weeks and 660 miles Not one blister or rash.

Vanity check list Week 6 Mile 700 plus

I attempted to wash my hair and scalp with soap today after snorkeling, No go. I can’t get the suds into my scalp at this point. My salty dreadlocks hair is too stiff. It will have to wait for hot, clean, fresh water. Sea Gypsy that I am.

Vanity Checklist Week 7 Mile 800 plus

My hands are tough leather with calloused brown knuckles.
Sunburnt spots over bug bite sores.
All my nails are dirty and broken.
Small cuts all healing.
I plucked out a few long chin hairs today, can’t have that!
My hair will stand up on its own it’s so stiff with salt, but clean.
Salt Dreadlocks rock!
Thank God I don’t have a big mirror!
I am a wild Sea Gypsy women and it sure is fun!


About tglandboe

Mom, High School science teacher, Water women
This entry was posted in trip reports. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Tracy’s Vanity Check list – what’s a gal to do in the wild?

  1. Robert Mommsen says:

    you guys are great bob ketchikan

    Date: Sat, 15 Jun 2013 23:36:08 +0000 To:

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